We get told constantly about what we should be doing, what if stopping some behaviours could actually take you further…..
Here are three things you should stop doing in order to achieve your goals.
- Endless consumption
We have to be mindful to what we expose ourselves to- negativity breeds negativity. To use an old computing term- garbage in, garbage out. We often find ourselves doing things out of habit or because we ‘should’ and then leave ourselves in an unresourceful state.
Have you ever watched the news and felt positive and resourceful afterwards?
I know I haven’t.
Ever noticed how it is always going to be the worst winter on record?
People become addicted to the endless stream of fear and misery being fed to us on a daily basis. Trust me, if it is something important, someone will tell you anyway.
A great way to begin taking back control of this is to audit your time. We only have so much energy and focus to give- -where is yours going?
Check in every hour or so- see what you are doing and how you are feeling. Is there a pattern? Did you sit in front of the TV while eating your tea and are still there 3 hours later? Yeah….I still need to work on that one.
There are some very clever people devising ways to keep you tethered to your phone, their apps, your TV to name just a few. You have to be intentional as to where you spend your time.
As my Mother says- Everything in moderation. You don’t have to live like a monk, just be intentional with how you spend your time.
2. Trying to please others.
It’s easy to play to other people’s standards especially when they are lower than our own. Dean Graziosi said it best “don’t dim your glow to match others”.
People have their own expectations on how you behave and react. This can be difficult when you are trying to improve a particular area of your life. Some people will prefer the broken you because it makes them feel better about themselves. Also, people like you. They may fear that the evolved you might be different in some way.
People might expect you to be always up for a few beers- it’s hard to break free of that without feeling that you are letting them down. It is hard work trying to change habits, that’s why so few people make it work.
A quick fix for this is communicating and setting up alternative activities, times and dates that suit you. Practicing saying ‘no’ more often is a powerful and under-used habit. You have to make sure that you live your life on your terms.
The beauty of NLP coaching is that we can take those deeply embedded behaviours and give your mind a more compelling option. It makes change fast and, even, a little fun.
3. Trying to do too much
Let’s say you have a goal- you need to plan realistically when you will work on this. If this is only 15 minutes a day or sat on the toilet, waiting for the kettle to boil, that’s great. You then need to calibrate your expectations as to what you can realistically achieve in a set time frame.
The important thing is to make progress however slight and to make it a daily habit. This builds momentum. Review regularly and iterate what you are doing. Use the time audit from step one to strip away the unessential- this shouldn’t be what you enjoy doing, only the stuff that doesn’t actually need to happen or sucks away your energy.
Comparison is the mother of misery- make sure the only comparison you make is to the you of yesterday.
Have I missed anything? What else gets in your way, let me know your suggestions in the comments below…..