Ever been stuck in a loop where you know what you need to do and just can’t get yourself to actually do it? Some people call this self-sabotage, others are waiting for a bolt of motivation to be granted to them from beyond and more just put it off until tomorrow.
See, most of the time people know what it is they need to do to hit their goals. Be it becoming fitter, becoming a better leader, a better speaker, growing their business etc. All the knowledge you need is out there so why don’t people hit their goals?
A lot of the time it comes down to what is going on between the ears. The unconscious part of our mind has our best interests at heart and wants to protect us at all costs. So if you have an unhelpful belief or fear or phobia- you will self sabotage and stop yourself achieving what you want to achieve.
We do this unconsciously to protect ourselves from pain. It may be that you just have an old programme running that no longer serves you. For example, a fear of public speaking. This may actually be a fear of standing out from the crowd, of being judged and therefore, being cast out of the tribe. Obviously this programme once served a purpose, it kept us safe at some point. You probably won’t consciously be aware of the origin of this and I would argue that you don’t actually need to be. In my coaching, we are less interested in discussing the origin of the problem and more focused on helping you get rid of it. Trying to consciously overrule your unconscious mind is possible but exhausting.
You need to make changes at the unconscious level- basically like a systems upgrade. I specifically work with the unconscious mind which makes change quick and effective. Essentially, we get into your operating system and optimise the programmes that you run so they serve your goals. You may even find yourself chasing your goals automatically without having to talk yourself into it….imagine that!
Here’s a couple of quick things you can do to begin to address this:
- Set goals properly….use my template at the foot of the home page. Make an action plan and make sure it is realistic and sustainable- going from waking up at 7 a.m. to getting up at 4 a.m. and running 10k before breakfast may be possible on day 1 but by day 3 (if you’re lucky) you will feel exhausted and will go back to square one. If you wanted to get up earlier to work on your goals, do it incrementally in 15 minute chunks and feel good about it.
- Habit stack. We are habitual creatures and it is possible to create a positive habits to support our goals. To use a fitness example, only allow yourself to listen to your favourite podcast while you workout. This gives you a ‘reward’ for moving towards your goal and therefore, positively reinforces the behaviour.
- Upgrade your body language. Our physiology affects our state. If we are sat slumped over a computer all day, we ain’t going to fell great. Set an alarm every hour and check your physiology. How would you sit if you were really confident? How would you stand? How would you breath?
- Visualise your goals like you already have completed them. Our unconscious cannot tell the difference between what we imagine and reality. So…close your eyes and imagine a point in the future when you have your goal. Imagine in as much detail as you can, the richer the better. What can you hear, see, smell and taste?
I’d love to hear what you are working on at the moment. Let me know by commenting below or emailing [email protected]
I would love to be a part of your journey and bust some of these limiting and unhelpful beliefs for you. Want to know more, get in touch and I look forward to speaking with you soon.